the crystal clear division, and now and then: indecision

I think that I'm thinking
of some wonderful world
but I can't rely on my daydreams
because I'm the only one
who dreams them

I can't help but question
the differences in day and night
cycles of cycles and I guess
we all live inside them
again and again

I malinger, cartwheeling
extreme and paranormal
only in shades of grey
but never of gray
concrete is gray

I'm dark, I suppose
ungrateful and broken
maybe
I'd just love to be sure
but I'm not

I'll paraphrase myself
to emphasize the indifference
because even what I really said
isn't really enough
to say what I mean

I'm never really surprised
by actions taken
surely no one falls
so hard when they're
already down

I dream that I'm dreaming
but I'm not

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